This is an ongoing list of books that I have read and many of my favorite quotes.
A Breath of Snow and Ashes - Diana Gabaldon
"Either he was dying or he wasn't. If he was, no help was possible. If he wasn't. none was needed."
"The mountains had their own time, and a wise man did not try to hurry them."
"'If I die,' he whispered in the dark, 'donna follow me. The bairns will need ye. Stay for them. I can wait.'"
"'Ye canna be so close to another,' he said finally. 'To be within each other, to smell their sweat, and rub the hairs of your body with theirs and see nothing of their soul.'"
"'You're a very hard person to kill, I think,' I said. 'That's a great comfort to me.'"
"...the devil you ken is better than the devil you don't."
"Why do I see things that don't exist anywhere except inside my brain?"
"We must just meet what comes as we can."
"If the evils of the past canna hinder us—neither then shall fears of the future."
"...solitude was in its own way a balm for loneliness."
"It is myself who kills for her."
"I was still me. Fragile, battered, sore, and wary—but myself."
"I wasna looking at anything save you."
"'I hold no evil in my heart,' he said, hearing his voice come slow, from a long way off. 'This evil does not touch me. More may come, but not this. Not here. Not now.'"
"Come to think, perhaps being nearly killed wasn't always a misfortune—so long as you didn't actually die of it."
"'All I want,' she said softly to the dark, 'is for you to love me. Not because of what I can so or what I look like, or because I love you—just because I am.'"
"'Perfect, unconditional love?' he said just as softly. 'Some would tell ye only God can love that way—but I can try.'"
"In war, government and their armies were a threat, but it was so often the neighbors who damned or saved you."
"Gods are jealous, are they no?"
"I became convinced that it was God I sought. Perhaps it was. But God is not flesh and blood, and the love of God alone could not sustain me."
"'I have yearned always,' he said softly, 'for love given and returned; have spent my life in the attempt to give my love for those who were not worthy of it. Allow me this: to give life for the sake of one who is.'"
"She was a lass who craved love, I think—and took it. But she didna ken how to give it back again."
"'Nay, but I kent him always,' she said very softly. 'He smelled of light.'"
"'I canna look at ye asleep without wanting to wake ye, Sassenach.'...'I suppose I find myself lonely without ye.'"
"'I'm not so brave as I was before, ken?' he said very softly. 'Not brave enough to live without ye anymore.'"
"For your sake, I will continue—though for mine alone...I would not."
The Fiery Cross - Diana Galbadon
"But the speech of the heart is louder than the word of any oath spoken by lips alone."
"He was not afraid to die with her, by fire or any other way—only to live without her."
"...I found men soothingly logical and—with a few striking exceptions—pleasingly direct."
"Well it's no as though I've never found myself walking between two fires before, Sassenach. I may come out of it a bit scorched round the edges, but I donna think I'll fry."
"Money might not buy happiness, I reflected, but it was useful commodity, nonetheless."
"Peace was hard on professional soldiers."
"Dear Bride, why cannot the past leave us be in what peace we have made with it?"
"The world and each day in it is a gift, mo chridhe—no matter what tomorrow may be."
"If I should lose you—or Jamie—I wouldn't be quite a whole person any longer, but I would still have that left."
"'He's a man,' she said, 'and that's no small thing to be.'"
"He'll be no safer for your fear, will he?"
"'And if she had not come back to me'—he interrupted firmly—'if you have not come—if I had never known—or if I had known for sure that both of you were dead...' He turned his head to look at her, and felt the shift of his body as he lifted his hand from my hair and reached out his other hand to touch her. 'Then I would still have lived, a nighean, and done what must be done. So will you.'"
"—if you say it, then it's true. You make it true."
"So beautiful, you break my heart."
"'To see the years touch ye give me joy, Sassenach,' he whispered, '—for it means that ye live.'"
"Come to me. Cover me. Shelter me, a bhean, heal me. Burn with me, as I burn for you."
"...aye, well, some ways of breaking a sweat are better than others."
"'If I'd known I should meet a damn bear,' Jamie said, grunting as he lifted another stone into place, 'I would have taken another path.'"
"There's a deal of difference, ye ken, between meeting a bear unawares—and hunting one."
"Only one of us can be scared at a time, and it's my turn."
"'Sassenach...I love ye now, and I will love ye always. Whether I am dead—or you—whether we are together or apart. You know it is true,' he said quietly, and touched my face. 'I know it of you, and ye know it of me as well.'"
"Not much ye can do with a female who's not in the mood."
"'That's how he'll know the most of us,' he said instead, resuming his gentle kneading. 'He'll look at himself, aye?'"
"'I'd like a portrait of you,' he said softly, and reached out a finger to trace the curve of cheek and temple. 'So we can look at it when we're very old, and I can tell ye that you haven't changed a bit.'"
"No matter what. We won't forget."
"Men go where they will, they do as they must; it is not a woman's part to bid them stay, not yet to reproach them for being what they are—or for not coming back."
"'There's a difference between cruelty and necessity.'
'Aye,' Jamie said, half under his breath. 'And a thin line, maybe, between a monster and a hero.'"
"The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it."
"'When the day shall come, that we do part,' he said softly, and turned to look at me, 'if my last words are not 'I love you'—ye'll ken it was because I dinna have time.'"
Drums of Autumn — Diana Gabaldon
"By blood and by choice, we make our ghosts; we haunt ourselves."
"I could know ye all my life, I think, and always love you."
"An Englishman thinks a hundred miles is a long way; an American thinks a hundred years is a long time."
"'You are my courage, as I am your conscience,' he whispered. 'You are my heart—and I your compassion. We are neither of us whole, alone. Do ye not know that, Sassenach?'"
"But do ye not see how verra small a thing is the notion of death, between us two, Claire?"
"Nothing is lost, Sassenach; only changed."
"If ye have to ask yourself if you're in love, laddie—then ye aren't."
"Some people would say you can't miss what you never had—that it's better not to know at all."
"Likely it took women to get men to do anything much."
"I could do with a spot of dullness now and then."
"What I was born does not matter, only what I will make of myself, only what I will become."
"It was a leap of faith—to throw one's heart across a gulf, and trust another to catch it."
"Being certifiably insane is unfortunately no guarantee that someone is likewise wrong."
"'My sin was to love her,' Alexandre said, very softly, 'and that I cannot stop.'"
"Obligation? Love? How in hell could you love without obligation?"
Voyager — Diana Gabaldon
"I think perhaps the greatest burden lies in caring for those we cannot help."
"'He gave you back to me,' she said, so low I could hardly hear her. 'Now I have to give you back to him, Mama.'"
"The most irritating thing about cliches, I decided, was how frequently they were true."
"I know why the Jews and Muslims have nine hundred names for God; one small word is not enough for love."
"Judging by the state of your hair, Sassenach, I shock say that it's going to rain verra soon now."
Dragonfly In Amber — Diana Gabaldon
"We are bound, you and I, and nothing on this earth shall part me from you."
"You are mine, always, if ye will it or no, if ye want me or nay. Mine, and I wilna let you go."
"For I give ye my spirit, 'til our life shall be done."
"Your face is my heart."
"The most important thing I've learned about women, Sassenach, is which one to choose."
"I didn't want to know love, only to have it ripped away once more."
"You cannot save the world, but you might save the man in front of you, if you work fast enough."
"When time strips everything else away, it's only the hardness of the bone that's left."
"You never know, but you have to act anyways, don't you?"
Outlander — Diana Gabaldon
"I had not slept with many men other than my husband, but I had noticed before that to sleep, actually sleep with someone did give a sense of intimacy, as though your dreams had flowed out of you to mingle with his and fold you both in a blanket of unconscious knowing."
"In older, more primitive times (like these? asked another part of my mind), it was an act of trust to sleep in the presence of another person. If the trust was mutual, simple sleep could bring you closer together than the joining of bodies."
"Bruised pride hurts worse than anything, and it bruises easy then."
"To stand against a crowd would take something more than ordinary courage; something beyond human instinct."
"And I'm neither particularly small, nor very sweet, at least at present."
"Aye. That's what marriage is good for; it makes a sacrament out of things we'd otherwise have to confess."
"'He said the greatest thing in a man's life is to lie wi' a woman he loves,' he said softly. He smiled at me, eyes blue as the sky overhead. 'He was right.'"
"'Ye werena the first lass I kissed,' he said softly. 'But I swear you'll be the last.'"
"For where all love is, the speaking is unnecessary. It is all. It is undying. And that is enough."
"I wouldna be hungry if I were about to die, do ye think? Seems a waste."
"Sometimes our best actions result in things that are most regrettable."
Modern Lovers — Emma Struab
"Who needed happiness when you had stability?"
"Some people were the leavers and some were the left."
"Maybe his love was enough for both of them."
The Magicians Nephew — C.S. Lewis
"No great wisdom can be reached without sacrifice."
"Watchin' and listenin's the thing at present; not talking."
"For out of them you were taken and into them you can return."
"For jokes as well as justice come in with speech."
"For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are."
"When things go wrong, you'll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things once start going right they often go on getting better and better."
One Plus One — Jojo Moyes
"Sometimes you need time away to figure things out in your hear. It makes everything clearer."
"...that there was nothing sadder than a lonely hairless baboon."
"Everyone I've ever met who was worth knowing was a bit different at school. You just need to find your people."
"That was the thing: when you put someone down all the time, eventually they stopped listening to the sensible stuff."
"Because there had to be something wrong, didn't there, if even your own mother didn't really love you?"
"I've decided I like living dangerously."
"There was no point trying to hang on to someone who didn't want you."
"The law is probably combined with the law of large numbers states that to beat the odds, sometimes you have to repeat an event an increasing number of times in order to get you to the outcome you desire. The more you do, the closer you get."
Miller's Valley — Anna Quindlen
"Things seem simple when you're young."
"I figured that most of being a kid consisted of eavesdropping, trying to figure older people out and understand what they were going to do next, because whatever they were going to do next was surely going to have some effect on you."
"Getting older wasn't working out so well for me."
"...but sometimes, I've found there are people you get to be friends with accidentally and then stay friends with because you've always been friends."
"Charm is like tinsel without a tree. What's tinsel without a tree? Shredded tinfoil."
"It's a lot harder to save people than you think it is."
"Nothing is useless, my father used to say, as a key that doesn't open anything anymore."
Dear Mr. You — Mary-Louise Parker
"Letting someone you don't really like surprise you is evolved, and that would have been impossible if you didn't have the humility I wasn't giving you credit for."
"It's so transparent, how willing we are to dismiss the intelligence of someone who rejects us, as though that renders them incapable of sound judgement."
"You said you would live me until you were ashes."
"I feel full. I feel, if we were forever poor, and had to live with so little, you know, really poor, and this was the best we got, I would be all right with that."
"Time should weep for having spent me without you."
"I wanted to put my head on your shoulder and make a wrinkle there."
"You keep saying you're hungry but there is a doughnut in front of you and you don't eat it."
"You keep saying you're cold but you take off your coat and throw it on the floor."
"No way to take the voices you loved, they would have to stay behind, so you took the ellipses."
"Go find your own dysfunction."
"I said sorry so many times that I believed I was, but was I supposed to be sorry?"
"It's been a cycle of having your arms tied only to liberate yourself again."
"...but like any man, you are happy to be the one who caught something he was chasing, and like certain women, I am happy for a man to find something that was about to hurt me and grab it by the neck."
"It takes bravery to admit that you're petrified and keep soldiering on despite it."
#AskGaryVee — Gary Vaynerchuk
"They don't need theory. They need practical, tactical information, stuff they can hear one minute and start applying the next—real-world advice that can be adapted and reshaped do as the commerce and culture shift."
"Ideas are worthless without the execution; execution is pointless without the ideas."
"We have become too entitled. Go out and earn that job."
"My name is 'good' because I made something out of it."
"You want people to recognize and remember your name? Earn it."
"At some point, however, you've got to hike up your big-boy pants, accept the decision you've made, and move on. After all, you made your decision for a reason, so trust your judgement. There's no point in looking back."
"The best way to become something is to do the work required to become something."
"I put zero weight into anyone's opinion about me because I know exactly who I am."
"Because if you're too early in a business or a theory where there's no buy-in, you've lost."
"You have to know their world and speak their language in order to reach them."
"If you want to move mountains, you've got to come with thunder."
"It's become clear to me that it's much better to be a businessperson than an athlete because as a businessperson you have plenty of time to hit your prime."
"You cannot properly market something if you don't even know whether its any good."
"After all, great products don't need that much marketing. Marketing, however, won't fix a crap product or app or service."
"You have to know something in order to be a brand."
"Don't ever think you can hack expertise and branding by relying on social media and modern tech. There is no substitute for honest hard work."
"Hustle and adjusting to business opportunities as they come and adjusting to life as it changes."
"If anything, come from less or from behind can be a huge advantage because you will never, ever assume anything will come to you easily. That breeds a lot of courage and perseverance."
"Stop saying 'but' and you'll be forced to move forward; there will be nothing standing in your way anymore."
"You're success is not predicted on your zip code."
"The quality of a brand's storytelling is directly proportional to the quality of its content. If it's not good, no one will pay attention."
"If you're not producing content, you don't exist."
"Some experiences have more long-term worth than money."
"It's more likely that they'll like your work if you like your work, so don't ever try to be someone you're not or follow a trend."
"When you have no idea expectations people can sense it, and funny enough, the absence of pressure or obligation actually makes them want to reciprocate."
"Marketing today is for the forward thinking, the brave, and the young at heart."
"Being an entrepreneur or a CEO is a stunningly lonely job."
"The only effective way to truly lead is to practice and model the behavior you want to see in others."
"Positivity is a state of mind."
"Depth matters more than width."
"I hope that the way I carry myself and live my life motivates people to work hard and do their best by others."
"A healthy company culture built on trust and openness make business go faster."
"Being nice is a choice, and how you choose to speak to people even when you're pressed for time will reveal who you really are."
"Money and fame doesn't change people, it exposes them."
"I actually do my best to make my daily interactions with people such that they'd want to come to my funeral."
"A great company is grounded in great culture, and great culture begins and ends with whom you hire, and how they leave."
"If you want people to overdeliver, you'd better overdeliver for them, too."
"Don't let anyone's mind go to waste. Encourage everyone to be an innovator."
"Digital should be seen as the gateway to a human interaction, but not as a replacement for it."
The Last Boy and Girl in the World — Siobhan Vivian
The Nest — Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney
"'Appearances count,' she would tell their kids. 'If you want people to judge you based on the inside, don't distract them from the outside.'"
"I pray if you love me, bear my joy."
"Party is an attitude, not a destination."
"It's not your job to be anyone's mirror."
"If you want to predict a person's behavior, identify his or her incentives."
"Nothing was a sure thing; every choice was just an educated guess, or leap into a mysterious abyss."
"People might not change but their incentives could."
"I loved enough to lose; I felt enough to weep."
"Life gets hard and people bail."
How to Win Friends and Influence People — Dale Carnegie
"Criticism is dangerous, because it winds a person's precious price, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment."
"As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation."
"Judge not, yet ye be not judged."
"Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances."
"A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men."
"The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want."
"I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among people the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise."
"Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you."
"I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Le me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."
"Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire...and the best piece of advice which can be given to would be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way."
"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and seeing from that person's angle as well as from your own."
"People who can put themselves in the place of other people. who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them."
"Arouse in the other person an eager want."
"People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves—morning, noon, and after dinner."
"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provide the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring."
"We are interested in others when they are interested in us."
"Become genuinely interested in other people."
"I have known people who succeeded because they had a rip-roaring good time conducting their business."
"Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy."
"Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual... Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude—the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis."
"The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meed feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely."
"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."
"Talk to people about themselves, and they will listen for hours."
"Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely."
"Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right."
"A man convinced against his will
"Is of the same opinion still."
"If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good will."
"You may be right, dead right, as you speed along in your argument; but as far as changing another's mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if you were wrong."
"Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love, a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person's viewpoint."
"When one yells, the other should listen—because when two people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations."
"The only way to get theist of an argument is to avoid it."
"Men must be taught as if you taught them not
"And things unknown proposed as things forgot."
"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself."
"Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so."
"One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing."
"You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong."
"I judge people by their own principles—not my own."
"Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, 'You're wrong.'"
"There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one's errors."
"Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes—and most fools do—but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one's mistakes."
"When we are right, let's try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong—and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves—let's admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm."
"By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than expected."
"If you are wrong, admit it quickly and empathetically."
"They can't be forced or driven to agree with you or me. But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly."
"It is an old and true maxim that 'a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.' So with men, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart; which, say what you will, is the great high road to reason."
"The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind; and kindliness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world."
"Begin in a friendly way."
"He who treads softly goes far."
"Get the other person saying 'yes, yes' immediately."
"If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you."
"Let the other person do a great deal of the talking."
"The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. This they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury."
"Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers."
"Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person's ideas and feelings as important as your own. Starting your conversation by giving the other person the purpose or direction of your conversation, governing what you say by what you would want to hear if you were the listener, and accepting his or her viewpoint will encourage the listener to have an open mind to your ideas."
"I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person's office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person—from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives—was likely to answer."
"Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view."
"Sympathy the human species universally craves. The child eagerly displays his injury; or even inflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap abundant sympathy. For the same purpose adults... Show their bruises, relate their accidents, illness, especially details of surgical operations. 'Self-pity' for misfortunes real or imaginary is, in some measure, practically a universal practice."
"Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires."
"Appeal to the nobler motives."
"Dramatize your ideas."
"All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory."
"The one major factor that motivated people was the work itself. If the work was exciting and interesting, the worker looked forward to doing it and was motivated to do a good job."
"Throw down a challenge."
"Begin with a praise and honest appreciation."
"Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly."
"Admitting one's own mistakes—even when one hasn't corrected them—can help convince somebody to change his behavior."
"Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person."
"Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued."
"Ask questions instead of giving direct orders."
"I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime."
"Let the other person save face."
"Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving."
"Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise."
"Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, if comes across as sincere—not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good."
"Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be 'hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.'"
"Give a dog a bad name and you may as well hang him."
"Giveth other person a fine reputation to live up to."
"Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct."
"Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
"Men are ruled by toys."
"Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest."
Sex God — Rob Bell
"Our sexuality, then, has two dimensions. First, our sexuality is our awareness of how profoundly we're severed and cut off and disconnected. Second, our sexuality is all the ways we go about trying to reconnect."
"What we are experiencing in these moments of connection is what God created us to experience all of the time. It's our natural state. It's how things are supposed to be."
"You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with who you are."
"And if you can't come to terms with who you are and the life you've been given, you'll never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they've been given. And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on this planet. and your part to play in ongoing creation of the universe. You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect."
"Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you."
"The temptation is always to avoid things that are difficult and complex. To go around them rather than through them."
"The truth is, we're crammed full of sexual energy. It's how we're made. We have cravings and desires and urges and temptations that can easily consume us and make us feel helpless in their presence. We have to talk about what we do with the forces that rage within us. We have to get it out or you'll begin to die on the inside."
"Life is not about toning down and repressing your God-given life force. It's about channeling it and focusing it and turning it loose on something beautiful, something pure and true and good, something that connects you with God, with others, with the world."
"When you make a move toward a person,
when you extend yourself to them,
when you invite them to do something,
when you initiate conversation
you give them power.
Power to say yes or no.
Power to decide."
"Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don't want it. That's why it's such a crushing ache on the inside. We gave away a part of ourselves and it wasn't wanted."
"Love is giving away of power. When we love, we give the other person the power in the relationship. They can do what they choose. They can do what they like with our love. They can reject it, they can accept it, they can step toward us in gratitude and appreciation."
"Love is giving away. When we love, we put ourselves out there, we expose ourselves, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable."
"Love is giving up control. It's surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two—love and controlling power over the other person—are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all of our desires within us to manipulate the relationship."
"This is what love does, it threatens the empires of power and control and wealth and manipulation."
"If you have ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels."
"If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels."
"If God can continue to risk, then maybe you can too."
"Agape doesn't love somebody because they're worthy. Agape make the worthy by the strength and power of its love.
"Agape doesn't love somebody because they're beautiful. Agape loves in such a way that it makes them beautiful."
"There is a love because, love in order to, love for the purpose of, and then there is love, period. Agape doesn't need a reason."
"Our understanding of how God sees us will shape everything about how we live. What we do comes out of who we believe we are."
The Nightingale — Kristin Hannah
"In love we find who we want to be; in war we find out who we are."
"I always thought it was what I wanted; to be loved and admired. Now I think perhaps I'd like to be known."
"What was love when put up against war?"
"Beauty was just another way to discount her, to not see her."
"People left. She knew that. They especially left her."
"She wanted to say 'Don't leave me,' but she couldn't do it, not again. She was so tired of begging people to love her."
"A broken heart hurts as badly in wartime as in peace."
"Some stories don't have happy endings. Even love stories. Maybe especially love stories."
"But love has to be stronger than hate, or there is no future for us."
"Love is such a slippery thing."
The Silkworm — Robert Galbraith
"When women turn, they really turn."
"...because she knew only one way to respond to pain, to wind the transgressor as deeply as possible, with no thought for the consequences herself."
"We don't love each other; we love the idea we have of each other."
"All love, ultimately, is self-love."
City on Fire — Garth Risk Hallberg
"No one (he would think later, after what happened happened) would be able to reverse time's arrow."
"How much simpler the world would be if people could admit openly to hating each other!"
"I don't think you can really change anything unless you're willing to say yes."
"And why love things you were destined to lose? Why let yourself feel things if the feelings were doomed to die?"
"Of course nothing is more attractive than someone who needs saving."
"They were wronged parties, both of them, and whatever this thing was, they were in it together now."
"...though what he'd meant those times he'd said he loved her couldn't possibly have been what she meant when she thought of being loved."
"Or was it possible to love something and hate it at the same time?"
"The Loneliest Man in the World, she said, only has room in his heart for one person, and if he can't have that person, he locks himself away. He tells himself no one could possibly love him, but really, it's that he refuses to love anyone else."
"I mean no matter what you deserve, how far you run, your fate stays stuck to your heels."
"Save for the fire worker himself, no one ever knows the grand finale is the grand finale until it's over."
"You can build a life on this: two people who know each other's failings electing nonetheless to sit together, in socks, in lamplight, reading magazines, trying not to look too far beyond the day just passed, or the one coming up."
Tribe — Seth Godin
"A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea."
"A group needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate."
"You can't have a tribe without a leader—and you can't be a leader without a tribe."
"One of the most powerful of our survival mechanisms is to be part of a tribe, to contribute to (and take from) a group of like minded people."
"A movement is exciting. It's the work of many people, all connected, all seeking something better."
"Generous and authentic leadership will always defeat the selfish efforts of someone doing it just because she can."
"Tribes are about faith—about belief in an idea and in a community."
"Heretics are the new leaders."
"Leadership, on the other hand, is about creating change that you believe in."
"Leaders have followers. Managers have employees."
"Marketing is the act of telling stories about the things we make—stories that sell and stories that spread."
"Today, marketing is about engaging with the tribe and delivering products and services with stories that spread."
"Great leaders create movements by empowering the tribe to communicate."
"Instead of always being on the hunt for one more set of eyeballs, true leaders have figured out that the real win is in turning a casual fan into a true one."
"Individuals who push their organizations, who inspire other individuals to change the rules, thrive."
"Whatever the status quo is, changing it gives you the opportunity to be remarkable."
"Ideas that spread, win."
"We choose not to be remarkable because we're worried about criticism."
"Heretics are engaged, passionate, and more powerful and happier than everybody else."
"Great leaders are able to reflect the light onto their teams, their tribes. Great leaders don't want the attention, but they use it. They use it to unite the tribe and to reinforce its sense of purpose."
"If everyone tries to lead all the time, not much happens."
"If you're not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it's almost certain you're not reaching your potential as a leader."
"An organization, any organization, needs people who aren't just willing to follow, but are eager to follow."
"Leadership is a choice. It's the choice to not do nothing."
"A curious person embraces the tension between his religion and something new, wrestles with it and through it, and then decides whether to embrace the new idea or reject it."
"Through your actions as a leader, you attract a tribe that wants to follow you. That tribe has a worldview that matches the message you're sending."
"Leaders who set out to give are more productive than leaders who seek to get."
"The secret of being wrong isn't to avoid being wrong!"
"The secret of leadership is simple: Do what you believe in. Paint a picture of the future. Go there. People will follow."
"People won't follow you if they don't believe you can get to where you say you're going."
"If no one cares, then you have no tribe. If you don't care—really and deeply care—then you can't possibly lead."
"People want to be sure you heard what they said—they're less focused on whether or not you do what they said."
"Tribes grow when people recruit other people."
"If your organization requires success before commitment, it will never have either."
Why Not Me? — Mindy Kaling
"The truth is, it's hard to get people to like you, but it's even harder to keep people liking you."
"So my advice to you is: try to befriend a cinematographer and have him or her light you wherever you go."
"...haters are just more people paying attention to you."
"And as everybody knows, the best kind of laughter is laugher born of a shared memory."
"If you have the opportunity to observe someone at work, you are getting mentoring out of them even if they are unaware or resistant."
"'Soul mates' is what you aim for, but soup snakes is what you get sometimes."
"People don't say 'Give me your honest opinion' because they want an honest opinion. They say it because it's rude to say 'Please tell me I'm amazing.''
"I'm the kind of person who becomes silent when I get scared, because I hope Death will not notice me if I am very still and very quiet. I has worked well so far."
"But none of that mattered, because I knew the truth, which is if someone really wants to see you, they always find a way. Always."
"'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it?"
Fates and Furies — Lauren Groff
"Grief is for the strong, who use it's fuel for burning."
"If one might die at any moment, one must live!"
"No more risking the hurt that came from contact with others."
"Why, it's your family that tells you who you are. Without a family, you're a nobody."
"What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours."
"It comes over us that we shall never again hear the laughter of our friend, that this garden is forever locked against us. And at that moment begins our true grief."
"The way the old story goes, woman needs an other to complete her circuits, to flick her to fullest blazing."
"Yet—yes!—the sum of her life, she saw, was far greater than its sum of love."
All the Stars in the Heavens — Adriana Trigiani
"Why do people ever leave home? They have to."
"A man pays attention when he's interested."
"What had made her happy was not to be."
"I will tell them that I have desire."
"There's always a girl in the story."
"No longer could you play an angel; you had to be one."
"You work to live."
"It appear to Alda to be the real thing, the most dangerous kind of love of all."
"Isn't it always a tangle when a man loves a woman?"
"How can something you know is wrong make you happy?"
"You can't have redemption without sin."
"You know the worst part of this thing is? You go your whole life looking for this exact thing, and you swear you'll never find it, and then you do, and then you can't have it. It is parceled out to everybody else, so you see it and recognize it, and patiently you wait for your portion, and by the time your turn comes, there isn't enough to go around. Hell of a thing."
"There's nothing worse than a love affair that never bloomed. You have to think like the gardener who snips the heads of the buds that never blossom. It brings down the garden. We are meant to bloom."
"The people that joke about dying young never do."
"Powder and lipstick are the tank and the rifle in a woman's beauty arsenal."
"Time is a tool to use however you wish, You never know anything about anything. That's why you have to grip the rope and climb it. Right now. Right here. In this moment. This could be it for us."
"You have to know what makes a person sad to figure out how to make them happy."
"Life isn't a class where you can get a perfect score. It seems to me you have to keep trying."
"A poem is just a set of instructions. Tells you how to live."
"You can do everything just right, and the river moves through anyway, and it takes you with it."
"I have two gifts to give anyone that loves me and that I love in return: the gift of myself, and my time."
"You can't prove love. You can only offer it."
"Because I'm happy alone, Luca. Nobody hurts me. Nobody breaks my heart. Nobody makes me feel worthless."
"Who are you if you don't love somebody? What kind of life is that?
"A good woman makes a man better."
"'Now that's love,' Gable observed. 'He'd walk down that mountain to marry his girl if he had to. There's no blizzard, no river, no mountain that will keep him from marrying the woman he loves.'"
"If you don't believe in miracles, you might as well not believe in God."
"If I'm given a choice, I'd like to stay right here with you. Neither forward, nor backward, but right here. With you."
"Love is everything to me."
"They appear invincible; it seemed they had all they needed in the company of one another."
"Maybe if she stayed in the moment he would too and they could be together always."
"He's a good man. But sometimes good men get in difficult situations that they can't get themselves out of."
"You can't help me get over him, or put this behind me, because I don't want to."
"A woman is either lucky in love or work."
"...never again would she fall in love with a man's charm, mistaking it for goodness."
"You are enough."
"Don't let love make you angry. It'll kill you."
"She was on the side of love."
"They were forever intertwined, connected, wedded to one another in some deep way that is as instantly familiar and somehow impossible."
"Even that wasn't enough; all she could do was hold him and wait for the darkness to pass."
"They shared equally in their mistakes and missteps, and underneath their shortcomings was always an understanding that the other had the capacity to forgive."
"Work was not a balm or a distraction, but salvation to the broken-hearted."
Me Before You — Jojo Moyes
"You know, you can only actually help someone who wants to be helped."
"But surely if you loved someone it was your job to stick with him?"
"You thought you knew best. Everyone thinks they know what I need."
"It was impossible to be this close to someone, to feel their skin tauten under your fingertips, to breathe in the air that they breathed out, to have their face only inches from yours, without feeling a little unbalanced."
"You only get one life. It's actually your duty to live it as fully as possible."
"I worked out what would make me happy, and I worked out what I wanted to do, and I trained myself to do the job that would make those two things happen."
"If he has love, he will feel he can go on. Without it, I would have sunk many times over."
Wicked — Gregory Maguire
"Woe is the natural end of life, yet we go on having babies."
"We only have babies when we're young enough not to know how grim life turns out."
"History crawls along on the peg legs of small individual lives, and at the same time larger eternal forces converge. You can't attend to both arenas at once."
"'The overdressed traveler betrays more interest in being seen than in seeing,' she murmured, trying it out, 'while the true traveler knows that the novel world about her serves as the most appropriate accessory.'"
"I dress to kill, though."
"That's the real power of art, I think. Not to chide but to provoke challenge. Otherwise why bother?"
"It would be more efficient to ask her and have done with it. At least you'd know."
"'It's the age of daring,' said Bog. 'It's the only time we have. We must live in the present. We are young and alive.'"
"This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is wicked distraction."
"'I know this: The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness,' she said.
'And of women?'
'Women are weaker, but weakness is full of cunning and an equally rigid moral certainty. Since their arena is smaller, their capacity for real damage is less alarming. Though being more intimate they are the more treacherous.'"
"Remember this: Nothing is written in the stars. Not thesis stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny."
"'I'm no pawn,' said Glinda. 'I take all the credit in the world for my own foolishness. Good gracious, dear, all of life is a spell. You know that. But you do have some choice.'"
"'People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us.' He sighed. 'It's people who claim that they're good, or anyway better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of.'"
"No one controls your destiny. Even at the very worst—there is always a choice."
"Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven, so you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it."
"Evil is always more easily imagined than good, somehow."
Rising Strong — Brene Brown
"...I believe that vulnerability—the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome—is the only path to more love, belonging, and joy."
"If we're going to put ourselves out there and love with our whole hearts, we're going to experience heartbreak."
"Yes, if we care enough and dare enough, we will experience heartbreak."
"We are born makers. We move what we're learning from our heads to our hearts through our hands."
"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; its having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome."
"If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall; this is the physics of vulnerability."
"Knowledge is only a rumor until it lives in the muscle."
"The most transformative and resilient leaders that I've worked with over the course of my career have three things in common: First, they recognize the central role that relationships and story play in culture and strategy, and they stay curious about their own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Second, they understand and stay curious about how emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are connected in the people they lead, and how those factors affect relationships and perception. And, third, they have the ability and willingness to lean in to discomfort and vulnerability."
"Love is the last thing we need to ration in this world."
"You know after any truly initiating experience that you are part of a much bigger whole. Life is not about you henceforth, you are about life."
"Grace will take you places hustling can't."
"The middle is messy, but it's also where the magic happens."
"Show me a woman who can hold space for a man in real fear and vulnerability, and I'll show you a woman who's learned to embrace her own vulnerability and who doesn't derive her power or status from that man. Show me a man who can sit with a woman in real fear and vulnerability and just hear her struggle without trying to fix it or give advice, and I'll show you a man who's comfortable with his own vulnerability and doesn't derive his power from being Oz, the all-knowing and all-powerful."
"Experience and success don't give you easy passage through the middle space of struggle."
"The goal of the process is to rise from our falls, overcome our mistakes, and face hurt in a way that brings more wisdom and wholeheartedness into our lives."
"The irony is that we attempt to disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable, but our wholeness—even our wholeheartedness—actually depends on the integration of all our experiences including the falls."
"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do."
"Creating is the act of paying attention to our experiences and connecting the dots so we can learn more about ourselves and the world around us."
"I don't even know who a character is until I've seen how they handle adversity. Onscreen and offscreen, that's how you know who someone is."
"Curiosity is a shit-starter. But that's okay. Sometimes we have to rumble with a story to find the truth."
"One of the truisms of wholehearted living is You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness."
"Curiosity's reason for existing is not simply to be a tool used in acquiring knowledge; it reminds us that we're alive."
"Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected."
"As difficult and dark as some of those times were, they connect to form the real me, the integrated and whole me."
"Curiosity is unruly. It doesnt like rules, or, at least, it assumes that all rules are provisional, subject to the laceration of a smart question nobody has yet thought to ask. It disdains the approved pathways, preferring diversions, unplanned excursions, impulsive left turns. In short, curiosity is deviant."
"It often takes a single brave person to change the trajectory of a family, or of any system, for that matter."
"But no matter what we use, we can't selectively numb emotions—when we numb the dark, we also numb the light."
"Depression and anxiety are two of the body's first reactions to stockpiles of hurt."
"Being all light is as dangerous as being all dark, simply because denial of emotion is what feeds the dark."
"For every emotion we feel, there is a response."
"The most difficult part of our stories is often what we bring to them—what we make up about who we are and how we are perceived by others."
"When we decide to own our stories and live our truth, we bring our light to the darkness."
"The most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness. We must reclaim the truth about our lovability, divinity, and creativity."
"The rumble starts when we have the willingness, ability, and courage to cross the waterline—to wade into that first, uncivilized story we're making up."
"In the absence of data, we will always make up stories."
"Because we are compelled to make stories, we are often compelled to take incomplete stories and run with them."
"Just because someone isn't willing or able to love us, it doesn't mean that we are unlovable."
"Just because we didn't measure up to some standard of achievement doesn't mean that we don't possess gifts and talents that only we can bring to the world. Just because someone failed to see the value in what we create or achieve doesn't change its worth or ours."
"Conspiracy thinking is all about fear-based self-protection and our intolerance for uncertainty."
"Emotional upheavals touch every part of our lives. You don't just lose a job, you don't just get divorced. These things affect all aspects of who we are—our financial situation, our relationships with others, our views of ourselves, our issues of life and death. Writing helps us focus and organize the experience."
"The ability to say 'the story that I'm making up' is extremely helpful in a couple of ways. First, it creates the opportunity for some inner dialogue. It gives me a chance to pause and evaluate what I'm thinking and feeling before I even bring it up with another person. In some cases, that is all I need to do. At times when I need to communicate a frustration or issue, 'the story that I'm making up' gives me permission to speak honestly and candidly without the fear of generating a defensive response. It is also very disarming and almost always results in a productive conversation rather than a heated back-and-forth."
"The difference—the delta—between what we make up about our experiences and the truth we discover through the process of rumbling is where the meaning and wisdom of this experience live."
"...but when shame and fear visit, everything can unravel in a heartbeat if we're not willing to be vulnerable in the exact moment when we most want to self-protect."
"I was reminded that shame is a liar and a story-stealer. I have to trust myself and the people I care about more than the gremlins, even if that means risking being hurt."
"I learned that one of the most vulnerable parts of loving someone is trusting that they love you back, and I need to be generous in my assumptions."
"Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them."
"Two of the most common messages that trigger shame in all of us are 'never good enough' and 'who do you think you are?'"
"Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment."
"How can we expect people to put value on our work when we don't value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries?"
"What is the most generous assumption you can make about this person's intentions or what this person said?"
"Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our value rather than simply professing them."
"I now recognize that people learn how to treat us based on how they see us treating ourselves."
"We can't rise strong when we're on the run."
"It's so hard to be facedown on the arena floor, but if you open your eyes when you're down there and take a minute to look around, you get a completely new perspective on the world. You see things that you don't see when you're standing tall. You see more struggle—more conflict and suffering. It can make you more compassionate if you open your eyes and look around while you're down there.
"We can't heal if we can't grieve; we can't forgive if we can't grieve."
"Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."
"A lifetime of unexplored disappointments can make us bitter, and stored-up resentment is toxic."
"The brokenhearted are the bravest among us—they dared to love."
"Heartbreak is what happens when love is lost."
"To love is to know the loss of love."
"Longing is not conscious wanting; it's an involuntary yearning for wholeness, for understanding, for meaning, for the opportunity to regain or even simply touch what we've lost."
"In order for forgiveness to happen, something has to die. If you make a choice to forgive, you have to face into the pain. You simply have to hurt."
"Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others."
"The brokenhearted are indeed the bravest among us—they dared to love, and they dared to forgive."
"Connection doesn't exist without giving and receiving. We need to give and we need to need."
"Wholeheartedness is as much about receiving as it is about giving."
"Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but do is asking for help."
"Regret is a tough but fair teacher. To love without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life."
"...we are most dangerous to ourselves and to the people around us when we feel powerless. Powerlessness leads to fear and desperation."
"Despair is a spiritual condition. It's the belief that tomorrow will be just like today."
"Hope happens when we set goals, have the tenacity and perseverance to pursue those goals, and belief in our own abilities to act."
"...if you don't put value in your work, no one is going to do that for you."
"Sometimes the most uncomfortable learning is the most powerful."
"We can't be brave in the big world without at least one small safe space to work through our fears and falls."
"When we stop caring what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. But when we are defined by what people thing, we lose the courage to be vulnerable."
"Our identities are always changing and growing, they're not meant to be pinned down."
"Our histories are never all good or all bad, and running from the say is the surest way to be defined by it."
"There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers than those of us who are willing to fall because we have learned how to rise."
"Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance."